Week 29 Jazmin A Brundall (Year 6)
As I slowly paced through the haunted woods, I felt the freezing cold wind pinch my face, sending shivers through my bony spine as the wind flew through the landscape, as I slowly strode towards the marvellous kingdom.
As the immense castle stood before me, I noisily entered the silent room making everyone stare directly at me. I glanced up at the massive screen above; furthermore realised everybody was watching my every move, as a camera recorded my every step. My rivals red blazing eyes were staring at me constantly, I gulped anxiously as I heard the horrible screeching sound of a threatening guns fire...
Jazzy thats amazing :)
ReplyDeleteLovely Jazzy, I think I can see your inspiration here. Be careful not to repeat things like 'as' too much. For example 'The immense castle...' would probably work. Think of some other words to replace them or rework the sentences a bit.
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