100 word challenge
Lucy Whiting. She never liked to play with other people. As
her ocean blue eyes turned to look at the midnight sky, a shimmering tear drop
rolled down her face. Someone in the distance was laughing at her, telling his
friends she was weird. The pain was like a monster pushing through the crusty earth.
He was right. She was just a mysterious ten year old girl whose parents were
killed in a car crash three years ago. Her heart sank to the bottom of her
stomach. Lucy felt alone, as she sat in the dusty corner of the park.
Hope you like this little paragraph of a description of a character called Lucy Whiting. Let me know what you think of my description and tell me if i could improve it by any way.
ReplyDeleteThank you
I really like the way you personify they feeling of pain, Amy! Comparing it to a monster is very effective. Your command of sentence structures is also very powerful, since you vary them for effect, using short ones for impact and longer ones for description. Very powerful!
ReplyDeleteThat's very good you can feel how she probably feels at the time in the story!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you discribed her eyes.Very good.
ReplyDelete