Thursday, 10 May 2012

Scott H Yr6 Brundall School


After racing titanicly through the eerie woods I came to a sudden halt my heart plummeted to floor... Laying still as a wall the most beautiful girl ever lying with a knife stabbed in her pale hand. Cautiously I stepped towards her. She twitched I can still save her I thought, running as fast as humanly possible. Her soft hand touched my hand, slowly I carried her to a hollow weeping willow. “Why” she whispered in a shadowy voice, “no one should face death at the age of sixteen” I spoke silently within three heart pounding days she was perfect.

7 comments:

  1. hi Scott it look awesome

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  2. You can`t possibly improve this because it is so good!

    Well done Scott!

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  3. this is amazing

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  4. This is epic! I like your style of writting! nice vocab eg. shadowy, cautiously etc. Keep it up! :)

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  5. this is amazing scott! are you thinking of the hunger games, and is she katniss or jessica ennis? in ur opinion

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  6. This is cool, I love the bit about the knife in the hand;)

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  7. Hi Scott

    This is a really intense story. You’ve forgotten to include this week’s writing prompt in your story ‘now what do I need’ There’s still time to submit another story though - see what your teacher says!

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