Strangely a quick, rapid figure swooped by like a bullet
from a gun. Worriedly I followed…
To my surprise I spotted that he had a limp so I darted in
his direction but he leaped to his feet and ran…
Slowly, I glared at my surroundings and realised this wasn’t
normal. Shockingly, there was a colossal three stump, with an old man perched
on top.
I sprinted at him with a skip in my step but he flew so high
I could no longer see him.
Weirdly, there was a pink castle in the distance, so I sprinted
towards it. It was marvellous and noisy…
Hello Olly. This sounds as if it's a dream with so many strange things happening. I wonder how it all turns out?
ReplyDeleteStarting a sentence with an adverb is an intereting idea, but it's always good to have a variety of sentence openers. To make your work even better try starting one of your sentences in a different way, for example with a connective.
Sally-Jayne (Team 100WC)
this is epic!!! comment on mine.
ReplyDeleteHello Olly, I really enjoyed reading your 100 Word Challenge today. you have written a quick paced piece and used lots of interesting words. I wonder if you caught the old man and what was he doing on the tree stump?
ReplyDeleteTo make your writing even better don't overuse ellipses. Limit yourself to using them once per short piece.
Keep blogging!