The green shoot could just be
seen, one single shoot was all it took to change my life…
April 1943, the day after they were
shot in front of my naked eye .To represent my love
for them, I planted a beanstalk just like the one in the story they read every
night.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my grieving
eye a dramatic beanstalk spurted up weeping for the sky.
The leaves beckoned me to climb
creating a ladder of leaves for me to have an adventure. I climbed for what
seemed like forever. My life stood before me…
by Annie kelsie Lottie
Hi Annie,
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting story. I like how your writing takes you on an adventure - it sounds like it is going somewhere really exciting. I really like the work 'beckoned'. It gives your beanstalk personality and describes your plant well.
It is good have you have gone straight in with ‘…the green shoots could just be seen…’.
Keep writing!
Rachel Wills (team 100WC)
Hello Annie, Kelsie and Lottie,
ReplyDeleteWow... three authors collaborate on a story. I think you have worked very well together in creating your story. :)
Your take on the classic "Jack and the Beanstalk" is interesting as you mix a person's attempt to overcome the grief of loss. I can see the care you have taken in spelling and punctuation. Well done! :)
Your story is set during WWII, a time of sorrow for so many. Perhaps this could be the beginning of a new adventure story with a mix of "Jack and the Beanstalk" and "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe." :)
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia