Tuesday 4 December 2012

The Piano




Whilst playing the piano together, her hand slipped off the keys and softly lay upon his, uniting the couple. Knowing this is the last time, they played their favourite song with passion and love.

Edging towards her husband, she slowly closed her eyes whilst she kissed him. As her lips touched his pale face, she was reassured their love would last forever.

The sorrowful man's eyes widened. During the mournful song, he managed a small grin remembering the loving years they spent together. With only a memory to keep them together the couple savoured every minute in joy.

As the memory faded, she looked longingly at the man she shared her life with.




The paramedic rushed to the decomposing wall with only a glimmer of hope. He pushed his back to the wall and turned his head to his friend. Staring supportively into his friend's worried eyes he gave his fellow soldier courage.

Bravely, the young sergeant spun round the wall, preparing to fight.  Whilst stood next to the decaying wall, covered in ivy, he watched as the trigger clicked and the bullet took flight.

The bullet pierced his heart leaving him no chance. It was futile, there was nothing the medic could do to save him. In anguish, he comforted the motionless man. The victim clasped his hand in despair, whilst his eyes filled with sorrow. Nothing could be done. He softly faded away.






The young boy rushes over to his Grand Father who is holding a mysterious box under his arm. On his knees, he looks curiously at the carefully wrapped box, which is covered in a beautiful blue ribbon.











9 comments:

  1. Love the descriptive language you have used. We watched this video at school as well. It makes me really sad and your writing makes me feel even more sad (in a good way).

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  2. my mum just cried watching the video but thinks we used nice discriptive langue and says if she was ofsted she would give our class outstanding and we would beat all the other classes by miles we're sooooooooooo good she also explained and me reading it to her made me feel really proud of our work and proud to be a Dodo!!!!

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  3. Your descriptive passage adds depth to this very evocative video. You use a wide vocabulary effectively and it's seems you have interpreted the meaning of the video very accurately.
    In the third paragraph the word "spent" is used in two consecutive sentences - can you think of another way of writing "with only a memory to keep them together they spent every minute in joy" using a different word?

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  4. i read it and thought that it would have been the same level as a bestselling author!

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  5. i don't know how you can watch that without a tear forming in you eye it is so depressing

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  6. this is from my stepmums view:

    The language is very descriptive and emotive

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  7. its just an animaton

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  8. What is the song called?

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