Thursday, 18 July 2013

100wc- Mal

I clutched her hand in agony. The doctors expression told it all. A noise I had dreaded all my life sounded.

It was unbearable. I fell on the floor outside in despair. I heard sirens. It's engine got louder. The ambulance dodged me. But then went into the hospital.

It went into a fire ball. The hospital started to burn. I had a choice. Babies were screaming or I could save the doctor that helped my mum but i wondered what i would do.

I chose to save the doctor. She was very grateful and was completely honored for it.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mal, what an interesting idea for your 100WC this week.
    I like your use of short sentences, they create tension in your writing.
    I also think that you have used some fabulous vocabulary; clutched, agony, expression, dreaded, unbearable, despair and dodged... What a list!
    Maybe next time, you could include some higher level connectives in your writing to help the story move on. Some examples; however, meanwhile, although and eventually.
    Well done and keep writing. :)

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