As I look up at the heavens for hope, I cry in despair I know she was dead, the doctors face said it all, she then laid a sheet over her and left.
I lay motionless on the road looking up at the starless sky, suddenly I hear sirens, I stand up and look around, I can't because my eyes are watering, I then hear screeching I clear my eyes, fire! a ambulance had swerved to avoid me but crashed.
The fire spread quickly, I wondered what I would do I rushed in it's empty, but one doctor the one who tried to save my wife, I garaged her out of the fire...
by Daniel
I lay motionless on the road looking up at the starless sky, suddenly I hear sirens, I stand up and look around, I can't because my eyes are watering, I then hear screeching I clear my eyes, fire! a ambulance had swerved to avoid me but crashed.
The fire spread quickly, I wondered what I would do I rushed in it's empty, but one doctor the one who tried to save my wife, I garaged her out of the fire...
by Daniel
A very powerful opening paragraph, although remember punctuation to make it read more clearly. I immediately wanted to know who was dead and how.
ReplyDeleteREALLY GOOD
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