Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Nathan's 100wc

Slowly the sky got darker,i went up the crooked winding staircase i saw the power wires they were cut . Suddenly the door slammed . I shot up the remaining stairs and launched myself into my bedroom i shut the door as slowly as a snail . i scrambled for my bed . Suddenly i looked out the window and saw a full moon then a howl coming from downstairs . Suddenly i realised my belovid dog was downstairs i was like could it be?Surely this couldn't be happening?

By Nathan
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14 comments:

  1. Anonymous16 October 2013 at 09:43

    THAT WAS AMAZING BECAUSE IT LEFT ME MOUTH DROPPED ALSO YOU GOT A SPELLING WRONG OVER ALL BRILLIANT :)

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  2. Anonymous16 October 2013 at 09:45

    I liked when you said I shut the door as slowly as a snail.

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  3. Anonymous20 October 2013 at 19:54

    Hi Nathan

    This was a creepy tale!

    Just a few pointers. You don't need to leave a space before the period, just after it. You also might want to check the spelling of 'belovid' and 'shorley'. A slightly more tricky thing is that if you are writing somebody's thoughts, you can put quote marks at the start and then the end of the thoughts, like this:
    "Could it be? Surely this couldn't be happening?"

    A great story - lots of action and I loved the phrase 'I shut the door as slowly as a snail' - that was excellent!

    Freya
    Team 100WC

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  4. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:29

    I THINK THIS IS AWESOME!

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  5. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:31

    good descriptive words but remember when you di an I on it's own it should be a capital letter.

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  6. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:31

    I think this piece of writing is really good and brilliant adjectives

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  7. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:32

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:38

    i liked the slow as a snail

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  9. Anonymous21 October 2013 at 09:39

    i also liked launched myself

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  10. Anonymous23 October 2013 at 20:34

    I enjoyed reading it but got a bit confused with the lack of punctuation and spelling at times but overall well done!

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  11. Anonymous24 March 2014 at 09:27

    Soooooo good

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  12. Anonymous23 April 2014 at 09:30

    uhhhhhhhhhhhhh k

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  13. Anonymous7 May 2014 at 09:33

    mouth dropping !!!!!!!

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  14. Anonymous5 June 2014 at 09:34

    good atmosphere that you set gives you an idea of the place you are in

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